Trust is the invisible - but tangible - building block of relationship. Trust greases the wheel of execution and keeps relationships free of relationship debt. It’s also the natural counterbalance to fear, which is the default emotion in the uncertain terrain of startups. Trust makes you feel secure. You can never have too much trust.
When trust is thought of as binary (all or nothing), it's fragile. Instead, it’s helpful to think about trust as a fluid that’s either built or depleted in various volumes in every interaction you have with another person. Some actions will build trust just a little - yay. Others will build massive volumes of trust - sometimes to the extent that you can do no wrong in the eyes of the other person. And on the flip side, we are all guilty of taking actions that are not fully trustworthy and that degrade the trust other people can have in us.
Trust can be lost in even the healthiest of relationships. The trick is to know how to rebuild it. Trust is gained most efficiently by communicating explicitly about it. Without explicit communication about the amount of trust you have in another person - any trust you build is by accident. Derisk it. Start having regular, explicit conversations about the amount of trust you feel in one another’s performance and in the relationship overall. This enables each of you to take actions that bank more trust within the relationship - ultimately, strengthening it.
Here's an exercise I recommend founders do at least monthly (as part of their Founder Sync):
Guidelines for this conversation:
- Be respectful and self-referential (use statements that begin with the noun “I” instead of "you")
- Embrace the discomfort in this conversation - that’s where growth is
- Really talk to one another. Don’t discount what you’re saying: Be direct and bottom-line
- Be curious: about what you’re saying, about what you’re hearing, and about the relationship overall
🙏🏼 Credit for this exercise goes to George Stubbs, a gifted coach and dear friend who walked me through a version of this exercise many moons ago and graciously allowed me to adapt it to my work with founders.